God's Grace

(I never know who it is I am writing to or writing for, and I don't get much feedback, but I realize I miss you anyway!  On November 29, I had surgery for a hernia, but I didn't realize it would stop part of my life!  I am mending, although not nearly fast enough for me, but enough to have hours off pain medications so I could find my head again. Thank you for your prayers.)

I am continually amazed how God meets our needs, including needs we didn't even know we needed.  I recently read a commentary on John 21:15-17 where Jesus asks Peter, "Do you love me?"  Jesus repeats the question three times, even though Peter answered "Yes" to the first two questions.  Peter didn't understand why Jesus repeated the question three times.  However, remember Matthew 26, where Peter fulfilled the words of Jesus, "Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times."  Jesus remembered, and gave Peter three chances to redeem himself!  Jesus was truly the living, earthly example of God's grace.  In 2 Corinthians 12:9, we are reminded that Jesus said,  "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."  Grace has been abundant to me in the past few weeks, and today again I am reminded to stop wishing and whining, and just rest in Jesus.  His grace is sufficient for right now and always.

Thanks-living

My inclination for writing has diminished in the past few weeks as the priorities of life have become more complicated, but I would feel foolish if I did not stop to acknowledge the opportunity we have had to celebrate Thanksgiving.  The emphasis on shopping, Black Friday, and stores that did not even close on Thanksgiving Day have saddened me, as it seems the theme is more on "getting" than "giving".  Yet, an even more important thought has enveloped me today.  Our church website used the term "thanks-living", and I believe that idea is even more important than celebrating thanks on just one day of the year.  No matter our situation, we can always find something for which to be thankful.  We will even make ourselves feel better when we count our blessings.

"Let us come before Him with thanksgiving." Psalms 95:2

It's as simple (and important) as that!

My Way

Frank Sinatra famously sung "I did it my way", but he wasn't the only one who lived that way.  Even though I know better, I find myself asking God for help or wisdom only after I've started messing things up by myself.  Although I'd more likely describe myself as humble rather than proud, I realize that it must be pride to act like my way is better than God's way.  The result is not pretty.

Oh Lord, I fail so easily, but You never do.  Forgive me please, and make me a vessel of your beauty, strength, and usefulness.

Simple Pleasures

The challenges of my days lately have served only to make me appreciate what I have more.  A few days have ended with so much more fatigue than I care to endure; I have a very comfortable bed, pillows, and blankets that take away any complaint I might register.  The weather is getting so much colder; I don't appreciate that, but I have plenty of warm clothes, and a house that I can heat to a comfort zone.  I've gotten hungry a few times; I have many choices of food in my kitchen, a refrigerator to keep things cold and fresh, and a stove, microwave, and toaster oven plus a variety of appliances to help prepare food.  I have dirty dishes every day, but I can wash them easily.  That it, usually I can wash them easily.  We have had a leaky pipe, on a week-end when replacement parts were not available, so we've had to turn off the main water supply.  All the blessings in my life make it impossible for me to grumble about that.  Also, now I can say, I don't have to wash dishes!

Somewhere I heard that it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown.  Remember then, to smile is taking the easy way out!

True Values

To most of our country, today is a much-loved holiday, Halloween.  It has never meant much to me, at least nothing good, and it means even less this year.  My value is in a different occasion.  You see, tomorrow is the day another group of our military men and women, United States Marines, fly to Afghanistan, and my son is one of them.  There is nothing a mother can do to change that.

This mother intends to spend much time in prayer.  The only problem I find is that I don't know what to pray.  I want my boy to be safe, but I want all our troops to be safe.  Safe is not a condition of war.  Do I want my son to come home unharmed, yet another mother's son to die or return with a missing limb, or a damaged mind?  Never!  Yet, how do I pray?

I'm so thankful that I have a copy of God's word.  In fact, I have many copies in my home, and some don't get used.  I used one tonight, however, and found an answer.

In Romans 8:26, I read these words: ". . . the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

Tonight I do indeed feel the weakness of my own body and spirit.  But there is help; I'll take it.

KINGDOM COMMITMENT

I've been continuing to read in Charles Swindoll's book, Livng Above the Level of Mediocrity.  Living an exceptional life seems to me to be an awesome goal, but doesn't seem obtainable to the average person, like me.  Yet, Swindoll makes the point that the main requirement is to make a choice.  It is true that just trying won't make it.  That is why he speaks of the Kingdom, the Kingdom of God.  When a king sets the standards for a life, and offers his full-time help as well, there is a possibility for the average to become above average.  Swindoll talks about the average person wanting to fit in to a crowd, or a family, or a particular group, as if fitting in were something worth attaining, and Swindoll says it is not.  If you fit in, you are not living an exceptional life, but are settling for mediocrity.  I don't know yet how much of this concept is sinking in, for me to make a change in my life, but I can say that it is interesting and intriguing.   Since I have never felt that I particularly fit in to any group, and I've been told often that I am not living up to my potential, I think it is time to take a serious look at this "above mediocrity" concept and see how I can adapt my life to fit in to the  "above average".  If we were evaluating a meal, or an article of clothing, or a painting, and judged it to be mediocre, we probably wouldn't want it.  Thus, why do we settle for a mediocre life?  I'm going to be thinking about that this week.  Join me if you will.

Above Mediocrity

My son, the U.S. Marine Captain, spent a few hours with me last week; it still amazes me how he can be my son, once my baby. The discipline and call to excellence that he has gone through in the military has chiseled his body and his character. 

Was it a coincidence that just a few days after he was here, I picked up a copy of the book by Charles Swindoll, Living Above the Level of Mediocrity?  In his introduction, Swindoll referred to his years in the Marine Corp, specifically boot camp where he was quickly convinced of the need for the severe discipline and difficult training.  He said, "The rigors of warfare would blow us away unless our minds and bodies were tough enough to withstand the demands made upon us."

My mind jumped quickly to a Bible passage which speaks of spiritual warfare.  "Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood . . ."

Am I, are you strong in the Lord?  Are we ready for whatever battle we come upon?  A life of mediocrity will likely lose battles as often as win.  This is a challenge to me, and perhaps to you also.  Are you ready to live above the level of mediocrity?

Emotions

What happens when you care?  Your heart grows (it seems).  Your heart also can be hurt, overwhelmed, exhausted, grieved . . .  My heart is feeling weary tonight as this has been an unusually challenging week, and continues to be.  Yet, I am happy that my heart can feel this way, because I would not want the alternative. 

Hearts can also be hardened.  A person with a hardened heart does not care, or love, or let anyone in to that part or whole of his or her heart.  A hardened heart also must be cold to The Creator. 

Lord, please keep my heart tender, and strengthen me for what you want me to be and do.

Security

As I listened to Bible scholar and teacher Beth Moore recently, she mentioned that we will always have change in our lives, which is difficult for women who tend to find security in routine, things that don’t change.  I found myself relating closely to such a description, feeling more comfortable when I am able to expect that tomorrow will be quite the same as today and yesterday, even to the point when that routine becomes boring.  Comparing routine to boredom takes some thinking about!

In doing my own thinking about it then, I found my own solution for security.   In the Old Testament book of Malachi, chapter 3, verse 6, God says “I am the Lord; I change not”.  If I put my security in God, who does not change, I will be secure no matter what changes come to my life.  I need to remember that.  How about you?

The Lights Are On

The lights are on, but should they be?  In trying to be energy conscious, our household is attempting to turn lights off when we are not in need of them.  From that perspective, I can't imagine turning on a bright lamp, and then covering it up or hiding it in a closet. 
Jesus used such an illustration in Matthew 5: 13-16.  He said ". . . you are the light of the world . . . people do not light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead, they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way,  let your light shine . . . so your good deeds may be seen  and your Father in Heaven be praised."

Our world is so very dark in many ways for people all over the world.  If we have Light, why aren't we using it?  Why are we keeping it for ourselves?

LIGHT

Do you often struggle to see clearly because the lights near you are just not bright enough?  Do you feel a need for sunglasses outside or for turning the lights down while you are in because too much brightness seems uncomfortable?  I am often in both of these circumstances.  Though it may be soothing or romantic, candlelight is not good for reading.  While you are driving, oncoming headlights when close, are distracting and even a bit frightening.  What is the perfect amount?  Of course it depends on the circumstances.

One circumstance that never changes, however, is that God has promised to give us His light in our heart.  2nd Corinthians 4:6 says "For God, who said 'Let light shine out of the darkness' made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God . . . "  It would seem that a person who has this kind of light would be superior in many ways to those who do not have such light.

Wait a minute here!  That is not true!  Even though the light may be superior, the following verse from the Bible tells us what we need to know even more.  " . . . but we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that this all-surpassing power is from God, and not from us."

Have you ever felt like a lump of clay?  Jars of clay can be quite rough and dull, and may even leak or be unsafe to hold beverages.  Those jars, however, can be decorated, polished, glazed, and baked to become more useful, even beautiful and valuable.  What I am reminded of right now, is that not only can God light up my life, but He also will keep on polishing and baking me in order to make me more beautiful and valuable.  His hand on my life isn't always comfortable, but it is what I need.  Where do you get your light?

Short Confession

My words dried up.  I've felt guilty about not writing new blog posts.  I've been told that guilt is a tool of Satan.  I also know that pride comes from him.  What's the problem? 

I was on a roll with my blog, and it was easy.  It was so easy, in fact, that I started doing it without God.  I have said that I want to share what God allows me to learn.  Instead, I've just been searching randomly, and most days in the past few weeks, I haven't found anything worth sharing. 

It was only by looking back through some of my journal pages that I realized (again) what a difference it makes if I do things on my own, or with God's help. This is a good example of how valuable a journal can be; to read about your own life, your own thoughts, is a good education. 

I've confessed.  Now, I hope, with God's help, I can continue learning what He wants me to learn, and writing what He wants me to write.

Through

Words don't come easy to describe the week that has passed.  It was so ordinary, and yet exceptional at the same time.  I look back and see troubled hours, tears, difficulty, and disappointments.  I look back and see victories, and joy, and beauty in many places. There have been many weeks that have disappeared into my history that I have not looked back and examined.  When that has happened, I think I have lost something.  Our personal histories are important to our future.

How would you describe your week?  Will you let it disappear into the past without looking back, without remembering the good times and the bad?  Your week, or month, or year, or entire life is witness to the strength you have found to survive and to go on.

Someone asked, just yesterday, how to have hope when circumstances of life seem hopeless, when pain is the predominant feeling, and when all your hours are under a cloud of despair or grief.  The answer, I believe, though it seems much too simple, is God.  When you take time to look back, you will know that God was there with you.  He may have taken some of your pain, or He may have let you go through it, but know this--He was there.

I have said times before that one of my favorite words is "through".  In my life, I have witnessed trouble and experienced trouble, but those troubles either are or will someday be in the past.  We have gotten through.  Because of that, we can know that whatever comes next, we will get through also.  If there is joy, embrace it, celebrate it.  If there is pain, we can embrace that also, because it will not last forever, and soon we will get through.

Reruns

Today my ambition regarding blogging seems to have decreased to the point where I wish it would be fair to do a rerun.  Some irregular readers probably wouldn't even notice--but I would, and it wouldn't be fair to me.  Writing is something I have always enjoyed, but it has never become habitual for me.  I enjoy routine, and I often work better under pressure.  That said, I have always had difficulty making my own routines, setting and meeting my own deadlines.

Believing that the ability to write is a gift God has given me, it has yet been a challenge to use that gift.  Beginning to blog has been a gift to myself, a way to give me more accountability in writing.  If anyone is helped or blessed by what I write, that is a bonus!

"Run with patience the race that is set before you," is how one translation of Hebrews 12:1 reads.  Another translation uses the work "perseverance" instead of "patience".  Yet another says "Run well..."  Comparing each slight difference to my way of running my life puts   "running" in better focus for me.  As it happens, I don't always run well, run with patience, or run with perseverance.  When I fail in my goals, I think it's time to start over, run again.  I guess you could say, that is  my rerun.

Blessings in Abundance

Being in the midst of taking care of our garden produce (tomatoes and cucumbers), it seems like that would be abundance enough.  When some in our world have so little to eat, we never go hungry.

I went to visit my sis JoAnn in the hospital this week, and was excited to see her out of bed, doing therapy, and demanding (she is a bit anxious) that someone move her wheelchair to the outside courtyard and then to a roomy spot indoors when the rain caught us.  She is making progress much quicker than anyone expected.  When we pray for something to happen, why are we surprised when it does happen?

JoAnn (and all our family) received another blessing this week--JoAnn's first granddaughter was born, beautiful and healthy.  Steve and Annie already have 3 adorable little boys, and now they can get ready to spoil their little sister.  The miracle of birth heals our hearts in so many ways.

I am reminded that "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father . . ." (James 1:17)  That reminds me also, to count those blessings, to set my mind on good things, and always to be thankful.

I'm sure you have blessings also, possibly ones that you have forgotten about.  Try counting them up, and be thankful.

Contentment

I was on my way to Bible study this afternoon, and had a flat tire.  While waiting for help, I started reading the chapter in the book that is our study guide, which I hadn't taken time to read all week.  While I didn't get to my group, reading even the beginning of this week's chapter proved quite valuable.  Last week we discussed anxiety, and I have had my share of that.  On contentment, which I began reading today, I'm a slow learner, so I hope I can get the remainder of the chapter read, and read over again, maybe a few times.  Contentment is the opposite of anxiety, it seems, and I had not thought of it in that way.

My feeling has been that contentment is the opposite of jealousy, or greed, or naturally, discontentment.  Sometimes, I've even thought that contentment wasn't all good, in that it could lead to a lack of ambition; a person too contented may never have a desire to change, even to improve.

The problem with my definitions and wandering around the meaning of the word is that I have been relying only on my own understanding, or lack of it.  If I had made it to my group today, and had revealed that last bit of information about myself, I'm sure someone would have (or should have) reminded me that the Bible says not to depend on my own understanding.  Well, I guess I learned that on my own, even though I forget all too often.

About contentment, the Apostle Paul must have been an expert.  He was in prison, in chains, and yet could say he had learned to be content.  The nice thing about that, for me, was that even Paul had to learn it.  There is hope for me then.  Today I learned that the word Paul used came from the Greek word (autarkes)  meaning " 'to be self-sufficient,' 'to be satisfied,' 'to have enough.' " (John Macarthur, Jr.,1993,  Anxiety Attacked)  Now that I have that straightened out, there is hope that I will begin to really understand what it means in my life.  In this same chapter, Macarthur goes on to remind his readers that Paul didn't leave us hanging helpless.  On the contrary, it would be impossible to be content in that deeper sense Paul speaks of unless we become aware of one truth: God is able to give us everything we need, therefore, with God, contentment is possible.  Without God, I would challenge anyone to tell me true and complete contentment is possible.

For myself, I try to do many things without God, but those are the things wherein I fail.  No matter how many times I need to be reminded, the fact remains, I need Him.  How about you?  Are you, like me, still trying to do way too many things on your own?  Just remember, it isn't necessary.  He's waiting for your call.

The Work is Not Finished

On this 9/11, I still find my heart so heavy, and my words so few.  As many have said, "How do you describe what happened?"  Yet, grief and loss are not limited to what happened on that day.  We send our strong ones to war, and some never return.  Illness and accidents claim those we love and those we do not know, many times, each day, each hour.

I was particularly impressed with words said today by Tom Ridge, former Pennsylvania Governor and first Secretary of Homeland Security.  He quoted a poem by Isla Paschal Richardson, which begins this way:
             If I should ever leave you whom I love
             To go along the Silent Way, grieve not,
             Nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk
             Of me as if I were beside you there.

Near the end, the poem says, "There are so many things I wanted still to do . . ." 
This is the line that really touched my heart, for I have witnessed similar words from those I loved before they went away.  My daughter, whose busy life was interrupted at only 34 years of age, told me, "You'll have to finish it for me, Mom." 

My heart gets examined once again, my deeds reviewed.  Grieving is necessary for a time, but grieving and recalling memories are not enough to honor them.

When some have gone, seemingly before their time, who will do the work they left unfinished?  Am I doing my part?  Am I fulfilling my mission, my purpose? Will you, too, examine your life?

PRIORITIES

At the end of a very busy week, I wonder how I could have gotten more important things done.  After wondering that, I have to stop and ask myself, "What are the more important things?" 

This week, I had visitors; our adult children were visiting for a few days.  This wasn't in my plans, not written into my schedule, but it definitely was important.  It became an honor, my calling, to prepare food, clean up, and spend time talking with them and watching them interact with each other.  They refreshed my vision of how blessed I am to live in such a beautiful place, and how blessed I am to be able to share my corner of paradise.

What I have learned this week is that priorities can be adjusted.  While scheduling and acting in a proactive manner have great value, they are good only if they allow room for flexibility.  When situations change, we must willing adjust. 

Proverbs 16:9 tells us, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."  I can give thanks this week that the Lord had plans for me that I had not anticipated.  His surprises are the best of all!

Procrastination, Progress, Patience, Persistance, & Pitfalls

Can you use all those words in one sentence?  I can certainly find them all in one day.  Putting things off until later happens with so many reasons (or excuses): too busy now, too tired, don't feel good, have to go somewhere . . .  So I try harder, and make a little bit of progress; it happened yesterday, and felt so good.  Later, my head said to do more, but my body said no; that tried my patience, and drove me to frustration and a few tears.  And here arises the pitfall, discouragement.  When things in life get discouraging, it is just too easy to quit for a while longer, to get angry, to do something else that will make me forget about the issue, and yes, to just cry.   All of these things are somewhat helpful though!

Think of a baby learning to walk.  That precious little one must have been given an abundant amount of patience and persistance as Baby tries, takes a step or two, then falls down (Bump!) and gets back up and tries again, repeatedly.

Yesterday I read a devotional that used a verse from the Psalms, "If they fall, it isn't fatal, for the Lord holds them with His hand".  Another translation says "Though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand".  I like that.  Toddlers just learning to walk are much more secure with an adult holding on, and I think that I am, in many ways, still a toddler.  My Father holds my hand.  That's a very good thing.

Emptiness

I have really dragged my feet on posting this week.  I was in Minnesota visiting my dad & uncle, and my sis in the hospital.  She is making progress, but of course everyone wants it to be faster, and complete healing will take a very long time.  It is so sad to see her suffer so much, but we are so very happy she is still with us.  Yesterday I tried catching up on things around the house, and took a wonderful, refreshing walk under our big sky, being in awe once again of the beauty only God can create.

Yesterday, and again this morning, my mood was dark and my emotions were fragile.  I knew I needed to be in church this morning, but it took all my resolve to get myself ready and get there.  Back in 1964, a song was written with the lyrics "Fill my cup, Lord, I lift it up, Lord . . . "  It taught me a great lesson, that when I feel most empty, God can fill me again, but first, I have to offer myself to Him for filling.  Time and time again, I go along in my own strength, doing whatever I need or want to do, until my strength is gone.

When we are exhausted and overly stressed, black clouds seem to hover right around our heads, sometimes taking over our every thought and word.  The remedy often is simple rest, and nourishing food.  (Man or woman does not live by sugar and caffeine alone!)  Advertisers tempt us with food that really shouldn't be called food, leaving our appetites little room for protein, fruit, and vegetables. In the midst of our strong-willed determination to be and do all that we can be and do, we can so easily forget the basics.  Wisdom tells us what we need, but wisdom is often ignored.

Thankfully, God can also give us wisdom!  The New Testament writer James says, if we lack wisdom, we should ask God, who gives generously, without finding fault.  That's a big relief to me, since asking someone else for help often results in judgement, and even condemnation. 

The exchange of fullness for emptiness, in emotional and spiritual realms, doesn't necessarily come instantly, just as it doesn't when in need of physical food.  Therefore, it would be wise to prepare ahead of time, and to partake regularly, in order to avoid those times of complete emptiness.  Using ourselves up requires longer recovery.  I'm learning my lesson at this moment.  If you need the same, will you begin with me?

Testing and Trials

This has been a very difficult week-end.  Saturday afternoon, my sister JoAnn was in a head-on auto accident.  We who love her are so thankful she survived, especially as a woman in the other car perished.  However, the pain we feel for her as she is only beginning a long, difficult recovery breaks our hearts.  We must either stand aside helplessly, or do something, however minor, to help in some way; perhaps that is mostly to make ourselves feel better.  I have not seen her yet.  Illness comes at such inopportune times, and I have been plagued with a migraine-type headache for most of 6 days.  I'm sure that in some way, it would be better to be there with her, yet in practical terms, if I am at home, at least I am not a burden to anyone else. 

In searching for something to occupy my mind today, I came across a quote (source unknown) that speaks strongly for me, as I am sure it will for so many of you:

 "In the past, life has administered severe tests and I have survived.  I carry the scars to prove it--some are physical, but all are permanent."

Awe and Wonder

You already know that I live where the sky is very big.  You also might know how I am so amazed at the changes in the sky, the varying colors and cloud formations, and how no day seems to be the same as any before when it comes to what I see above me.  Tonight, I stepped outside about 10 PM, and my mouth opened with an "Ohhhhhhhhh!" and a "Wow!"  The lights across the bay and throughout the surrounding hills were beautiful, but nothing compared to the constellations in the sky, the Milky Way as clear as I have ever seen it.  I'm thankful to have this beauty, and this good weather when others do not.   I'm even more thankful, however, and "thankful" isn't even a big enough word, to the Creator of our universe who thought to make something so beautiful for me to see.  I wonder how He knew what things would impress me the most!  I am in awe of One so great, of One so loving, of One so close, enveloping me in His creation.  "Our God is an Awesome God", and I wish I could share the beauty of my world with you.  Words are not enough, and a picture would not do it justice.  I hope you find the beauty in your world too.

The List

I'm still on the subject of procrastination, so if anyone reading this has the same issue, please help me out with some comments.   One of my progress points this past week has been to make a list of important things I need to make part of my life, daily if possible.  It's a really good list.  However, it is also very intimidating.  My friend Marilyn is a great list-maker, as is my husband.  Marilyn once told me that if I find a "To-Do List" too intimidating, that I should make a "Done-This List" instead.  I'm still working on that also.  I thought, though, that if I make a list of things to do, I could be like a kid again, and get check marks (or stars?!) for the things that I have accomplished, and in that way, have a way of making myself proud!  I'd like to have the simplicity of a child again, so perhaps this is still a good idea.  Tomorrow I may get around to using the list, and if so, I'll let you know how it works.  In the meantime, your suggestions will be very welcome!

Procrastination Prevention

I'd like to be able to take a vitamin guaranteed to prevent procrastination.  I'm sure that such a thing does not exist. This is a typical way of thinking for me, that I'm so often looking for an outside source to fix an inside problem.  "It would be so easy if . . . "   pops up in my mind on a weekly, if not a daily basis.

In my last post, I said that intervention and assistance can come (even) from ourselves. Have you ever wanted to stay up to watch a late movie, but then told yourself "No, you need to get up early tomorrow, so you'd better not."? Have you ever "helped yourself" to a piece of pie in someone's kitchen (after they'd told you to help yourself, of course)?  So, there you have it; you can intervene and you can assist you.  What it requires to do that is something called mindfulness.  Another way of saying that is to be conscious and thoughtful of what you do, and even what you think.  Have you ever eaten something and an hour later not remembered what you ate?  If so, that is definitely an example of not using mindfulness, and is also a probably cause of my being overweight!

Lest I leave you totally overwhelmed and thinking that you might as well not even bother with what seems impossible, I have another thought to share.  Please keep in mind that I am speaking to myself here, as well as any of you reading this.  In fact, I am probably speaking mostly to myself, since I don't know you, but I do know me, so I know who needs this information.  Although intervention and assistance can come from ourselves, it can also come from another source.  He who created you, knows you.  He knows what you need, where you feel lacking.  He has said many times in many places in the Bible, "I am with you", and "I will help you".  "Call on Me and I will answer" God says.  Is anything too hard for God?  I believe not, but I also believe He is waiting for me to ask. 

Does this mean that procrastination can be "fixed"?  I think so.  However, it is a process that I have not yet mastered, and it begins with setting priorities.  My first priority needs to be a conversation with God, and then He can show the way.  This is something I really need to work on, and perhaps you do as well.  This is a starting point.  Let's start.

Intervention

Today's post is a continuation of the previous post where I gave a peek into the thinking of a procrastinor.  Rather than thinking of a plan for the day, I said I preferred "What is your strategy for the day?"

When I think of "strategy", I think of the military.  You would never guess it from observing me, but my son is a Captain in the USMC.  I sometimes dream of having a group of Marines come to clean and organize my house.  I'd like to keep my son with me to keep it in shape.  In my dark moments, I think that there's no way I can ever get my house cleaned and organized without military intervention!

Ah, intervention!  That's an awe-inspiring word for me, and also a frightening one.  I'm not in the category labeled "hoarders" or in need of "intervention" as in the current television programs with those names.  Medically speaking, I am not in need of "assisted living" either.  However, I do (slightly) hoard things simply because I can't decide what to do with them, and I do need intervention and assistance. Do you?

Believe it or not, intervention can come from ourselves. Assistance can even come from ourselves.  Take time to think about that.  Just think.

(to be continued, perhaps)

The Days Have Gone By

Whether or not a person gets anything accomplished, the days still go by.  This is an issue for me since I tend to be a procrastinator.  I was thinking once of writing a guide for procrastinators, but only got it started--because I procrastinated.  The title was easy: "THE PROCRASTINATOR'S GUIDE TO ORGANIZING YOUR LIFE, YOUR HOME, YOUR OFFICE, YOUR DRAWERS, OR YOUR PURSE".

The number one rule: Do not plan to do anything right now, except to do some planning--later.

Later, when you are not too tired, too hungry, too busy, or too distracted, plan to make a plan.  In the meantime, just think about it once in awhile.

After you have thought about it for awhile (minutes, hours, days), then you can think about making a plan.  Plan: . . . list of steps with timing and resources, used to achieve an objective.  See also strategy.  (Wikipedia.com)

I like the word "strategy".  It seems more high-minded, less over-used than "plan".  Instead of someone asking "What do you plan to do today?", do you ever get asked, "What is your strategy for the day?"

(This is all that I am getting accomplished today.  If it wasn't for procrastination, I'm sure I would get more accomplished.  Perhaps I'll be back tomorrow to write some more, if I don't procrastinate too much.)

Happy Birthday Mom

This week I've been in Minnesota without my computer.  It's a great way to REALLY connect with people instead of connecting via Facebook or email!  I was able to spend some time with my sisters Jo & Jeannie, with Uncle Bart, with Aunt Gladys, and with Dad.  

We, and many other family members, have been influenced in varying degrees by a very special woman, my mom.  I was able to share a project I've been working on for a few months, copies of the diaries of Mom written while she was a young woman, before she was a wife and mother.  Mom has been in her heavenly home now for 19 years, and yet we are still touched by her values, her cheerfulness, and her love.  Today, if she were still with us, she would be 89 years old, and we'd be able to share her birthday cake.  With Mom, there would always be cake!  Although she was not the author of this saying, I think she'd approve: "Life is short; eat dessert first!"

Of course, that saying may not be literal advice, but the principle is so true, and also, so true of Mom.  Don't waste time with things that aren't good, and make time for enjoyment in your life.  Criticize less, praise more.  Complain less, relax more.  Frown less, laugh more.   Also, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

Happy Birthday, Mom!

He's Home

I just finished reading, very unexpectedly, the obituary of a young man I was well acquainted with while he was a teenager.  I watched him develop into an amazing adult with a passion for helping people and for having great fun, both in a great many ways. Cancer had been hiding out in Ron's body and only found when it was medically too late. 

I've had my own memorial service for him by reading the blogging he and his wife did on his Caring Bridge site, plus the messages left by many of the lives he touched.  I only had to quit reading when I could no longer see through my tears.  I had to ask myself, were they tears of sorrow or of joy?  After the death of Karine (my daughter, at age 34) I told many people that she had a whole lifetime of experiences in only half the time we would have expected her to live.  I would have to say the same of Ron.  What an incredible amount of accomplishments he had in his 52 years!

In his latest vocation as a minister, he gave one of his last messages on the subject of heaven.  He knew he was headed there soon, and he reminded people that, for him, Heaven was "home".  So often when we travel somewhere, the road home seems longer than when we went in the opposite direction.  In reading about Ron, I could say  "He made it already!"  I was also able to say "Karine is there already!"

We would need the mind of God to know why some of us have to hang around earth keeping busy while others are taken in the middle of what seems to be an even busier life. One thing I do know, however, is that because we are still here, God means for us to keep busy accomplishing something, not just keep busy keeping busy.  One of my daughter's last requests of me was "You'll have to finish it for me, Mom".  My heart is heavy with that today thinking of both Karine and Ron as well as so many others who have left us.  What an empty space they have left; what a long to-do list there still is in this world!  Until we also go Home, there is work to be done.

What a Friend

Someone posted on Facebook, "God doesn't have a blackberry or an iPhone, but He is my favorite contact. He doesn't have Facebook, but He is my best friend. He doesn't have Twitter, but I follow Him, and He doesn't have internet, but I am connected to Him. " 

Not everyone notices it, but God actually is the easiest friend to contact.  In spite of all the wonderful new worship music being sung these days, I still cling to a few old hymns.  One of my favorites is "What a Friend We Have in Jesus".  However, rather than just taking it for granted, I keep thinking of these words from the song: "O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer".
That's my problem; I keep forgetting that I don't need to handle situations on my own. 
I do believe God is even closer than a telephone call away, but He waits for our call.

Time Flash

Husband & I decided this was a "not too busy" week, thus a good week for a garage sale.  I had threatened to try to sell the whole garage, or just all its contents "as is" (Husband is rather a collector), but he decided it was a good time to get it cleaned up.  This has been the busiest "not too busy week" I can remember for a very long time.  Now, the sale is just 6 hours away, and I am sleepless.  If a woman can get that excited about having a garage sale, I wonder what would happen if she went to someone else's sale--or just went shopping in a regular store!  Lightheartedness aside, it just comes as a reminder that our plans are not always God's plans, and left to plan our own time, we can get really messed up.  Asking God to bless my plans seems to happen much more often than asking what His plan for me is on any particular day.  I'm so glad that my Creator has not stopped creating me; I definitely know there's room for improvement.

I had a doctor appointment this week, and I was apologizing to my doc for my lack of "doing" what I am already "knowing to do".  He kindly said that sometimes we just need another reminder, another person telling us what we need to do, or someone saying it in just a different way.  I think that's the way it is in talking to God; He's gentle, yet persistent with His reminders, and seems to always have another new way to teach me what I need to learn.  Sometimes I feel that I am a very slow learner regarding these Heavenly lessons, but The Comforter has come, and He's also a very good teacher/tutor.  Yes, I will learn what I need to know for the next step in life, but maybe not a moment too soon.

Be Ready

Never do I have nothing to write about; it's always a difficult decision to know what NOT to write.  Some thoughts are worth sharing, some are not.  Permit me to share where my mind was today.

This morning during our church service, we were reading the familiar Psalm 23.  The words "When I walk through the valley of shadow & death" brought me back instantly to the hospital room of Karine, the daughter I still miss so much.  In her last few days, it was a deep valley, full of shadows, yet she knew where she was going.  "Am I still here?" she asked several times. She was ready.  As tears kept escaping my eyes this morning, I had a clear-as-a-bell thought, "I'm ready too; I want to go".  It startled me with its clarity.  The church service changed its emphasis, and my thoughts were drawn to other things. 

Once at home, my mind went back, and then I remembered this: I have many things to do; God's not ready to have me come yet; I had better get busy!  I believe that Heaven has many great experiences for us, joys that will never end.  Yet, God has promised His blessings on what we do here, if we're living in obedience to Him.  My wandering thoughts brought me to Heaven and back; I think I'm ready for a Monday morning and a fresh new week!

Just Let Go

Inspiration comes from many places, but I have found that music speaks to me more often than anything else.  When I was on my own, living alone for the first time in my life, many times I was so fearful, and felt so broken, yet music could soothe my spirit and renew my strength.  It's not just the tune, though I appreciate many styles, but it's the lyrics that reach through to grab my attention.

I've recently become familiar with a musical trio going by the name of "Barlow Girl".  They reached me today with the following lyrics:

What is this doubt in me
Convincing me to fear the unknown,
When all along You've shown
Your plans are better than my own?

This week has been a whirlwind of making plans, having those plans change, trying to adjust, and then having those plans change again.  This morning I was in the middle of a very challenging dilemma, and I actually prayed.  (I do that far less than I know I should.)

In just a few hours, God answered in a way that I would not have expected, so there's peace in my household, and in my heart, once again.  Why, oh why, should I be surprised!  Way too often, I try to figure things out on my own, until I get to the point where I just can't do it, at which point, I ask God for help.  Such foolishness! Why not let go much sooner, to even out all those bumps in my life?  In the same song, Barlow Girl says, "And I know I won't make it if I do this all alone".  That's my reminder for today, that I don't need to do it all alone.  The Creator of the universe, the Creator of me, is eagerly waiting for me to call.

Dead End

Today my husband and I took the afternoon off; we headed north to Cornucopia, the home of the northernmost post office in the state of Wisconsin, and also the home of awesome sand beaches on Lake Superior.  We went off the paved highways part of the time, and sometimes found we were going in circles.  Several times we decided not to go down particular roads because there was a sign posted saying "Dead End".  After some time spent on the beach and some time investigating various areas with the car, we finally went back to the highways that connected to others that would take us home again.

After seeing about a half-dozen "Dead End" signs, I started thinking.  Car trips are good for that!  So often, if you are at all like me, we go on life excursions that really get us nowhere; they are just dead ended.  Other times we spend time going in circles and getting nowhere.  It's good to remember that we have a road map for life in the Bible, and we have the perfect guide in the Holy Spirit.  I'm happy to be able to avoid some of the dead ends in my life.

Balance

I don't walk a tightrope, or even try walking on a fence or a log, but my word for today is "balance".  Specifically, right now, I've been trying to balance my checkbook.  All the numbers in my records are supposed to match the ones that my bank says represent the money that has come in and gone out of my account.

I'm tired.  Of course, that may be because I was up last night until about 2 a.m. and I still got up this morning about 7:30.  That seems a foolish thing to do without a very good reason, and that good reason I did not have.  I just felt like doing it.  Oh, how many things I "feel like" doing, and have to pay the conseqences later!  Eating too much and exercising too much are the things that come to mind right now. 

If I actually was going to walk a tightrope, I suppose an important requirement would be to pay close attention to what I was doing.  For balance in any part of life, do you think a requirement might be the same?  If we pay close attention to every action and/or decision, balance wouldn't be so difficult to achieve!

Pruning

I'm going outside soon to prune my tomato plants.  The tomato garden resembles a jungle right now, and I know I planted too many, too close together.  However, I have learned that the actual tomato fruit will do better if I prune (cut out) some of those lush leaves and branches.


I'm thinking, too, of pruning my possessions.  It seems that I am finally realizing that my house is not too small, but that I have too many things in it.  A garage sale is in the works before the summer is over!  I just have to make sure that my husband doesn't have his way with what I consider "my" stuff.

Did you know that God is in the pruning business too? I'm not sure if I'm ready to have Him prune things out of my life even though it's probably necessary in order for me to bear better fruit.  It might hurt. Just as I don't want my husband to have his way with "my" stuff, I don't want God to have His way with "my" stuff either.  This attitude is something I'll have to work on.  As a visiting missionary once told me, if you are not willing to have God do something in your life, ask Him to make you willing.  If you're not willing to ask Him to make you willing, then ask Him to make you willing to be willing--or willing to be willing to be willing to be willing.  You get the idea.  I guess I'll have to start where I am.  How many "willings" do you have to ask for?

While They are Here

This past Saturday, my sister Jeannie was honored by a celebration of her cancer-free status after vigorously fighting it for 2 1/2 years.  When I first heard it was planned, I felt moderately happy for her even though I was radically happy that her last medical report showed no cancer anywhere in her body.  I toyed with the idea of attending, but it was a 3-hour drive away, and I thought it just wouldn't fit in our necessary plans for that week-end.  When it was just a few days before the event, I began to seriously consider it; my siblings and many of their children and grandchildren were attending, and I questioned "why not me?"  As it came time, my husband and I did attend, and I realized why it was so important.


In past years, most of our family came together because of a death of one of our family members. In our grief, our conversations were limited and tears were flowing. Now we could come together because of a life!  

Jeannie is not only a precious member of our family, but she is a very special person in her community as well.  We were astounded at the number of people who came to celebrate with her.  It was so exciting!   On a hot summer Saturday afternoon, people who knew Jeannie gave up any other plans to spend time in a crowd that was honoring her, honoring her while she was very much alive, instead of waiting until someday when she may be gone.  
  
Who are the people in your life that you will mourn upon their death?  Besides your family and close friends, do you know of someone in your community that is making a positive impact on others?  Is it a grocery store clerk who always has a smile and a kind word for customers?  Is it a member of the police force or emergency team?  Is it a teacher or minister? Is it a military member?

Do not wait!  Tell them now, with a spoken "thank you", a letter of appreciation, or a direct smile.  Spend time with people you love.  Love is really an action, although we treat it as an emotion, so exercise that love.  Do something positive and helpful for special people; make them feel special.  Have fun with someone.  Have a serious conversation with a sister, brother, or member of the younger generation.  Ask your parent, if you still have one, what life was like growing up. 
   
Okay, I'm talking to myself here.  There's a song by Matthew West called My Own Little World: I've heard it many times lately, and one part keeps running through my mind:

What if there’s a bigger picture?

What if I’m missing out?

What if there’s a greater purpose

I could be living right now

Outside my own little world?

I personally have been living a life of  very limited love; my life's purpose has mostly been sitting on the back burner.  I've not been comfortable putting out more effort, and "being comfortable" seems to have been selfishly elevated to a necessity.   Most of my hours have been spent just trying to handle my own little world, but  I'm ready to expand. 

The celebration for Jeannie has awakened my desire to be part of a bigger picture.  Thank you Jeannie for all your effort to stay with us!  Thank you Jeannie's friends for making the effort to celebrate a major achievement--Jeannie is still with us!  

Let us celebrate, every day, every person, while they are still here!

                                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                                                     

Shadows

So often we compare times of our life as "sunny days" or "in the shadows", comparing the shadows, of course, to the times of sadness or difficulty.  We also use a descriptive phrase "a shadowy character" for someone unpleasant or untrustworthy; the person with evil intent is often "lurking in the shadows" in a scary story.  Perhaps the idea started centuries ago, as the Biblical Psalm 23 speaks of the "shadow of death".

However, does the shadow really deserve such a poor reputation?  I think it serves a purpose. In our normally cool climate, we have recently had some days with a very hot sun, and I have longed for a few clouds to give their shelter. 

Today, I've been waiting a bit longer before I go out to check on my garden.  Therefore, I spent some time this afternoon catching up with email and Facebook, after being away for 2 days.  One friend consistently posts thought-provoking quotes, and with thanks to Nancy, I want to share one here:

"Worry gives a small thing a big shadow."

- Swedish proverb

Do you remember as a child how it seemed so strange that your shadow was so much taller than your actual body, how the shadow of your house made it seem you had a skyscraper for a home?  It's not a big leap then to apply that proverb to a habit you may have, and I know I've spoiled more than a few days with--worry.  So then, let's apply this proverb to our own lives, and not waste any time thinking about any difficult thing that isn't happening right now. This moment, choose to be happy, to be mindful of the good in your world.

 

 

Acute Awareness

It hurts.  Some things are so wonderful that I can hardly stand to see them or think about them.  Some things are too painful for expression.  A dear friend once asked me, "Oh, Jan, why do we have to have these emotions anyway?"  This was after we were just in the middle of a good cry together.  Did you notice I said "good" cry?  I reminded her, she of the tender heart, that she would not be herself if she couldn't care so deeply about so many things, if she couldn't love the way she loves.  Yes, it is true that unbridled emotions lead to trouble for so many people.  I wish it wasn't so.  Yet, to see a dew-tipped rose bud, a baby's smile, a sunset or rainbow or starry sky bring such pleasure that we could not deny ourselves the ability to notice them.  A dear one with cancer, a loved one who dies too soon, a picture of a starving child or an abused animal are painful to see and experience, but we would not be fully human if we were not moved by such happenings.  Yesterday on a trip into town, I noticed houses.  Have you ever noticed the variety of homes in most cities?  Who lives in all these places?  A beautifully painted stately 19th century home with a manicured lawn, or a run-down rental unit with one flower in one pot on a step--what do they say about the people who live there?  Farther than my curiosity could even take me, I did realize, God loves all of those people.  Shouldn't I also?  A popular Christian song has the words, "Give me a heart like yours."  Am I, are you, brave enough to ask for that?

Blessed by Beauty

I was outside late again tonight and was able to view the most awesome sunset that seemed to go on and on.  Last evening, just before sunset, the cloud formations were so incredibly beautiful, and sadly, I didn't have my camera with me.  The night before, July 4, we watched the city fireworks right from our backyard, as we were sitting by a campfire; when that ended, the stars were spectacular.  I often wonder why I am so blessed by beauty.  The author Scott Peck began one of his books with the words, "Life is not fair."  I have occasionally felt it wasn't fair to me, but through most of my life, I have had the best. I can do very little for the poor locked into city tenements or African villages without even clean water.  Nor can I cure cancer or heal crippled children.  I don't have the ability to employ the unemployed or end the wars or solve any of the world's big problems.  However, what I can do, I must do.  Above all, let none of us take our blessings for granted!  Today, I choose to be thankful.

Run Well

"Run well the race that is set before you."  This is a quote used by athletes and coaches, by preachers, teachers, and commencement speakers.  Why?   I certainly am not an athlete, but I've learned a few things from son, who is.  He is the runner in the picture above; his physique was chiseled not only from running, but also from biking, swimming, mountain climbing, skiing, and general training in our country's Marine Corps where he now has the rank of Captain.  These days, he often has more to teach me than I have to teach him.  I've learned that it sometimes helps to read about running, but that reading about it isn't going to help very much.  I've learned that running a race doesn't mean you just start running on race day; you prepare with healthy habits and training nearly every day.  I've also learned that you have to know where the finish line is, and the best way to get there.  It helps to learn the terrain, the expected weather conditions, how you will be judged, and what kind of competition you have.  And yet, some do not run to win first prize, but only to do their personal best.  Why do we talk about running?  Simply because running is life.  There's a beginning and an end, and as much as we can possibly control, we are responsible for what happens between that beginning and end.  Whether our life is 10 years or 100 years, it is "ours".  Do we know and do our "personal best"?  Running a  life is a big responsibility.  Let us run well, my friends.

Misty

When I took this picture, I was only thinking of the beauty that exists right outside my front door.  In looking at it much later, I was awestruck by what a picture it is of life--so many things that we cannot see even when they are right in front of us.  For me, as for many of you, it is "a reason".  Oh, how often we wonder "why"!  As another holiday is upon us, I so much feel the loss of my daughter.  It's been 5 years since I lost her to cancer, and some days the pain feels as great as if it happened last week.  To me, a holiday = Karine, and I know I need to get through one more without her.  When we meet in heaven, the mists will have been taken away, and I will know the "why".  Until then, I can celebrate the family that I do have, and be always aware of what a blessing they all are.  We have so much to celebrate; let's do it well.

Life Lessons

Why is it that there is so much good in the world, yet our news media and our own personal conversations tend to be focused on things that are bad, ugly?  My mom used to say, many, many times,  "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."  Of course it wasn't original to Mom, but it sticks in my mind because she said it.  My mom had so much wisdom to share, and even better, she lived what she talked.  The best thing I remember about my mom was her smile, and I marvel today how she could be happy no matter how she felt, and she could spread that happiness around.

Some friends & relatives posted this on their facebook page today, and it hit a strong note with me:

An old man once said,

 "There comes a time in your life

when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.

You surround yourself with people who make you laugh.

Forget the bad, and focus on the good.

Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't.

Life is too short to be anything but happy.

Falling down is a part of life;

Getting back up is living."

 

 

 

Solitude

Protestant Christians give much attention to gathering, the practice of coming together for corporate worship, coming together to receive strength & encouragement to go out again. That coming together includes music and audible Bible reading and prayer.  Contrast that with some Catholic orders which elevate silence to a necessity of worship; they take a vow of silence & solitude in order to be closer to God.  Others not of that faith have found that example useful enough to practice from time to time.  In some other religions, people choose to come apart from the world for a time in order to seek God such as in an Ashram in India, where silence is a requirement for seeking to know God.  While I agree with the need for getting together for worship, I am also a seeker of the elusive silence.  Even when alone, the television too often blares, neighbors' lawn mowers disrupt the quiet, or the washing machine does its rumbling.  Even if all that was gone, I would probably be doing something to distract myself from the silence.  This has to change.  I know that I have a need to stop, look,  and listen to the silence, the silence and stillness that is necessary to evaluate my own needs, and begin again seeking to know God's heart.

Life = Change

I felt a need to change the title of my blog, and here is why.  I "googled".  When I did, I found a few books & videos with the same name, Whispers in the Wind. More importantly, I found another blog with that name, and upon reading it, found that blogger's reasoning for the name so similar to mine that it could have been copied.  That blog came first, however, and I didn't copy it.  I only failed to search out prior usage of that name when it popped into my head as the "perfect" title.  So, please forgive my confusion, and take time to follow me when you have the time and need.

Besides the big sky, I'm also surrounded by other hills than the one I am on.  It is a constant reminder to me of this, "I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth".  From Psalm 121, the words have come to my mind many times when all I could think to say was "Help!"  I'm happy to be able to say, the help is available.  All I have to do is admit a need, and ask.

Ups & Downs

Friends, relatives, and I, also, have sometimes lamented that life is so complicated, that we are disappointed when, just when things seem to be “going our way”, life makes us change.  We act like life owes us a smooth road, an uncluttered path, and even a push in the right direction. 

From my hilltop home, I can see a town in the distance.  As the old saying goes, “as the crow flies” it’s not far.  Taking the road to get there, however, is not a direct path.  We have choices.  My husband and I were just discussing, on our last trip into town together, which roads made the shortest route.  One choice seems to be nearly all downhill; coasting without using gasoline or any effort by the driver or the car appears to be the best choice.  We decided to test it, taking that way in, and another way back home again.  I have said that I like the coasting way much better, the other way is a narrow road with a continual succession of hills and valleys.  It happens to be that road, with all the ups and downs, is the shortest route.

I think life is much like that.  It’s so much easier to coast than to labor with the ups and downs of life.  When we are up, we can see our future so easily, but then we decide to coast, and we end up down the hill.  Coasting may have some value in travel, but in our lives, it can be quite dangerous.  There is another alternative, that of asking God for a straight path.  It appears from reading in Proverbs 3:5-6 that we can do that, but it comes with a condition.  First “…lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him.”   Then-- He will make your paths straight.

Today, I want to say, “Stop when you feel like stopping”, but I’m not going to pretend that those are wise words, or wise actions.  Many people, my husband among them, believe strongly in the value of lists and schedules.  Personally, I find them depressing, since I nearly always have more on my list than I can accomplish.  There is one advantage to them, however.  If I make a list of important things to be done, and create variety in that list, then my choices are more manageable.  If I have a lot of energy, I can do some physical activity; if I’m physically exhausted, there needs to be something on my list that can be done sitting down.  (For about a week now, there have been a pair of my husband’s jeans sitting near my favorite chair; I shortened one leg, but the other one still needs to be done.  I’m sure that task will call to me soon.)I’ve been gardening today, and enjoy all the variety I see in nature; I only had to stop for a root beer(I’m not admitting to a root beer float), and to write this.  So these are my words of wisdom for today: plan variety into your life and follow that plan.

I took time out to watch a sailboat today; the wind wasn't strong, just strong enough to gently move the boat.  Sometimes, that's what we need, a gentle breeze to move us, not quickly, but just enough to make a little bit of progress.  Strong winds and great movement can come another day.  For today, I've needed just the gentle breeze.

Patience, where are you?  This week has been difficult, and I can't really find a reason for it.  It's one of those typical "so much to do, so little time" situations.  This week,  it made me upset, irritated, and depressed.  I want everything done--NOW.  Well, it's a good thing that I read and memorized some portions of the Bible when I was younger.  There's a phrase that is nagging at me in some portion of my brain, something about fruit, strange as that may seem.  I think I need to stop, think, and find it.   That Bible on the coffee table should not be gathering dust; there's wisdom in it.  I found the right place!  ". . . the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience. . . "  It's in the book of Galatians, chapter 5, verse 22.  The Spirit is whispering, and I know that Spirit is God.  I found a place to find patience.

Wisdom in Whispers

I'm not claiming to have any great wisdom.  In fact, I find life quite confusing.  I only know, from my own experience, that there is wisdom available for the asking.  The problem comes in not asking. Whether you ask advice from someone more mature and knowledgeable than yourself, or ask the One of ultimate wisdom, God, you will know more than you did before you asked.  So many people act as if they were more knowledgeable than anyone they meet.  As for me, I can be quite humble in appearance to others, but stubborn and haughty before God.  Intellectually, I know that God's way is better than mine, but giving in to Him is so very difficult.  Trying my own way first, even with repeated mistakes, is the way I operate.  Humility before my Creator comes in whispered reminders from Him, and I am too involved in my noisy activity to hear Him.  He does not give up, however, and He does accomplish His task, in order to accomplish His purpose in me.  That purpose is developing slowly, and I know that I must be quiet before my God, quiet enough to hear His whisper.