Still in that recovery phase of my surgery that now feels like it was "really" a long time ago, I have let my writing slide just as I've let slide many other important duties. It came to my realization today, however, that I've been waiting for things to be easier, to just "flooooooooooooow"! In doing that, I left God out of the equation again. If I just had made a habit of talking to him, saying "Father, I don't feel like doing anything today, but I know there are many things I could do. Will you please help me decide what is most important today, and then give me strength to do that, even if it is just one thing. Help me, guide me, enable me, Father, for I really need you." In retrospect, that wasn't hard at all, but I didn't do it. I remember a couple of desperate pleas, "Please Jesus, HELP ME!" I don't remember the calm request that would have given a calm reply, and a certainty that whatever He wanted me to do, He would enable me to do.
As an important part of my recovery, I want to learn from my mistakes. I want to learn to never leave God out of my plans, however simple they may be. There are things to do and people to talk with every day and every hour of my life. God has planned for me to be a helpmate and a servant, and there's no time to take a month off. In our weakness, God says He will give strength. And all I have to do is ASK.
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